Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Wedding Guilt Mad Libs

Ok, so did you ever play Mad Libs? You know, the verb-noun-verb-verb thing where you could pick anything to plug into a sentence, including things like farts and Justin Beiber?

Well. I love Mad Libs. I haven't played it in forever, though, so it occurred to me last night (why do I always come up with fun ideas just before I go to sleep?) that I want to create a Mad Libs based on all the bullshit phrases that the wedding industry spews at brides. A monument to the Marriage-Industrial Complex. A compilation of all the guilt-inducing statements that a girl hears from the day she gets engaged until after the last piece of cake has been eaten. And so, dear reader, I present to you: Wedding Guilt Mad Libs.

It'll go like this:

Noun
Noun
Adjective
Noun
Verb
Noun
Nouns
Noun
Verb
Adjective
Adjective
Verb
Noun
Nouns
Nouns
Verb
Adjective
Adverb



Your NOUN will be the most heavily photographed and important article of clothing you ever buy - so you need to make sure it's ADJECTIVE!


An insufficiently decorated NOUN can make or VERB your photos.


It's critical that you choose a NOUN and NOUNS to unify the aesthetics of your wedding. The NOUN will VERB your colors. Without them, it will look ADJECTIVE and ADJECTIVE. Lighting can VERB a venue, too.


Your NOUNS will be one of the most highly photographed elements of your wedding. You need to choose NOUNS and NOUNS that closely match your style.


Remember: everyone is VERBing you. If some aspect of the wedding is less than ADJECTIVE, they'll think ADVERB of you for the rest of your natural life.

So here's how mine turned out:


Your Artist Formerly Known as Prince will be the most heavily photographed and important mermaid you ever buy - so you need to make sure it's inhumane!

An insufficiently decorated aardvark can make or cavity search your photos.

It's critical that you choose a birther and pancakes to unify the aesthetics of your wedding. The Hosni Mubarak will detonate your colors. Without them, it will look pliable and filthy. Lighting can deport a venue, too.


Your Hazmat suits will be one of the most highly photographed elements of your wedding. Therefore, you need to choose princesses and flamingoes that closely match your style.

Remember: everyone is chasing you. If some aspect of the wedding is less than highly contagious, they'll think flamingly of you for the rest of your natural life.

I like this a lot better than the actual guilt-addled MIC schtick from which it was derived. Now, to make sure my aardvark is sufficiently decorated...

5 comments:

  1. I am sitting in a quite serious conference in Amman reading this, trying to control my completely inappropriate giggling ;)

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  2. I wanted to know if it was ok to share you blog on facebook? I love Mad Libs and this one was fantastic!

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  3. Sure! Feel free to share the blog wherever - and thanks for the FB shout-out! :)

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  4. Perhaps we should actually PLAY Mad Libs at the wedding reception so that it's an ice-breaker at the reception as some tables of folks will be...interestingly matched (to say the least). It beats the strained and awkward conversations between said mismatched and unfamiliar seatmates. BTW, love your adaptation of Mad Libs to the wedding industry and their often unbelievably ridiculous statements.

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